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Mostly Harmless (Mostly)

by Harmless Swamp Devils

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1.
Kill all humans I came here with a simple dream Kill all humans Oh cruel fate To be thusly boned Ask not for whom the bone bones It bones for thee Hey sexy mama, wanna Kill all humans Except one
2.
Do you remember when you used to get away with racist jokes And the only people different from you were "poofs" and "lezbos" Now you're all upset cos "you can't say things like that any more" Except of course you can, it's just that now there are consequences Because Things change, people change, situations change Everything changes and you'd better get used to it Because as you get older you will find more and more that Things change, people change, situations change Everything changes and you'd better get used to it Or else Or else what? Or else you will get left behind in the past In a loop where the food is shit and there's nowt on TV And you're angry all the time And your life expectancy is dropping At a rate of one second for every second you deny Things change, people change, situations change Everything changes and you'd better get used to it Because as you get older you will find more and more that Things change, people change, situations change Everything changes and you'd better get used to it Because no matter what you do Things change
3.
Well it doesn't really matter what you're saying any more Cos nobody is listening to you You can scream and shout and roll around upon the floor But nobody is listening to you You have got a tone of voice that sends people to sleep Your arguments are falling on deaf ears It doesn't really matter what you're saying any more Cos nobody is listening to you
4.
I walk 500 different dogs at once for you Oh yes I do I build a sculpture of St Martin's College for you Oh yes I do I make a pot of soup and boil it dry for you Oh yes I do I buy a broken 8-track tape machine for you Oh yes and I piss neon fire for you I draw a picture of a carpet swatch for you Oh yes I do I climb a mountain without wearing pants for you Oh yes I do I leave a record to warp in the sun for you Oh yes I do I try and fail to fly a kite indoors for you Oh yes and I piss neon fire for you The things I do for you To prove I care for you May not make sense to you But I can assure you I do them all for you I write slash fiction in cryptic crosswords for you Oh yes I do I do handstands when no-one is looking for you Oh yes I do I change the channel 60 times an hour for you Oh yes I do I wear my elbows right down to the bone for you Oh yes and I piss neon fire for you I do
5.
No Promises 00:40
Hey I just saw you on the TV Don't know if you remember me From the school where you were specky And I was a total bastard to you Well now I think i would like to be Friendly with you so I can be Sort of cool by association Can you forget the circumstances and remember just the magnitude Of the effect I had on you when we were kids? No Go away That is what I want to say But now I find myself on the TV I must choose my words carefully So let's go and grab a coffee And I'll try not to scald you Hey thanks No promises
6.
It was a lovely day We went to Beverley We cycled to the woods We rode between the trees He did not see the stairs He flew right off the top And landed in a heap How do you think he felt Pretending as a whore Holding your chips baby You had not thought this through Hands out for cups of tea Then you saw Head-Pulse Man Cardboard and sticky tape You poked him with a stick How do you think he felt On my way to work one day I saw a sign "warning: strange dog" I looked over the fence and a canine form said "hello sir" We talked for hours about how Top Gun is the worst film ever made By the time I got to work I'd been fired The dog's owner had taken my place How do you think I felt You saw a pretty bird It shat into your chips You went wrong off a kerb You buggered up your feet You saw a chance to change But then you squandered it You let down everyone How do you think they felt
7.

about

Music made in Korg Gadget for Nintendo Switch as a learning exercise

credits

released February 16, 2019

Noises: JimTheSchoolGirl (tweet @JimTheSG)
Art: TIMESCANNER (tweet @timescanner and visit theinfinitenow.org)

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NOOLrecords Hull, UK

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